Her Majesty’s Government seems to be in a bit of a pickle!

Hot on the heels of George Gobshite’s tacit admission that he’s never bought a pasty from Greggs come Scameron and Fraude with the most inept handling of a non-crisis I’ve seen in many a long year!

There’s been a vote for strike action by tanker drivers. There’s no strike been called and the union and hauliers are still talking. The union has, by law, to give seven days notice of a strike. As of yesterday afternoon there was no shortage of fuel on the forecourts. A situation that is changing rapidly, because two of our most senior politicians don’t know when to keep their sodding mouths shut.

On the way home last night we passed a queue for our local petrol station. There’s normally a car or two there at that time of night, but this queue was more than a hundred yards long. Petrol stations across the country are beginning to report that they’re running out of fuel.

Any marketing agent can tell you that one of the best ways to make sure you sell out of something that’s a “must have” is to hint that it’s in short supply. Apple, Adidas, Sony, Reebok – they’ve all done it – Disney DVD do it all the bloody time.

Underneath the veneer of civilisation, human beings en-masse are actually a bunch of selfish bastards (I include myself in that!) and the “must have its” will go out and buy as much “must have” as they can get their sticky little paws on.  This accelerated demand creates a real shortage and the “think I ought to have its” then join the queue.  This is then seen and joined by the “it would be nice to have its” followed by the “what are they queuing fors”, and so on.  To put it into terms that the cabinet dipsticks would understand, it fuels itself like a run on a bank. Remember the lines outside Northern Rock, Dave?

What in hell did Scameron and Fraude think they were going to achieve? They should have been making soothing noises about no fuel shortages and the talks continuing, not casually gob-flapping that it might be a good idea to get Jeeves to fuel up the Bentley and stick an unlit twenty litre Molotov Cocktail under the carport.

Are we really stuck with these plonkers for another three years?