A letter to an unfriend

OK, I get it. You didn’t like the result of the referendum. Almost every day since then your news feed has had some comment about Brexit, very often making disparaging remarks about those who voted for it. You’ve been an enthusiastic supporter of those seeking to rerun the referendum because you didn’t like what happened.

I sat back and didn’t challenge any of these for the sake of keeping the peace. I even tried muting you so that I wouldn’t see your comments, but you go too far.

You came on to my wall and, in the guise of a question, compared supporting Brexit with fascism. That is an inane comparison. It is wrong and very, very offensive on several levels, not least given what the Nazis did to gay men, and I am very disappointed that you would not understand that.

You then came back on to my wall and suggested that I should be humbly grateful for gay rights that you erroneously believed were due to the EU. That is wrong and offensive.

Your comment suggests that my sexual orientation, and said pathetic gratitude, should govern how I vote. That is also wrong and also offensive.

When I explain this to you in reasonably civil terms you go off on a hissy. How dare you now try and take the moral high ground? If you were genuinely just trying to ask questions, which I very much doubt, then you are displaying a quite shocking level of ignorance about the history of Europe. I think it’s more likely that you were just continuing your relentless Facebook campaign against leaving the EU and your denigration of those who support it.

Even May understands why Brexit, or some compromise, must be delivered. There hasn’t been a government since universal suffrage that has enjoyed a majority of the popular vote. (A few have come close, but no cigar!) The referendum was a binary choice – the most powerful example of democracy – and a majority voted to leave. The fact that the politicians cannot agree on how to deliver that verdict is their failure. It is obfuscation by those calling for a further vote when they say they are being democratic, when their clear and real intention is to reverse the decision.

To be honest I don’t feel terribly strongly either way, but I voted to leave because I think we need a proper debate about our future in Europe and I was optimistic enough to hope that we would get one. Sadly, we ended up with an obtuse slanging match in which every little faction was grinding their own axe. The mere fact that Farage (an odious man for whom I hold no candle) can found a party and within six weeks capture nearly a third of the popular vote is testament to the low esteem in which the established political parties are now held.

Nobody thought this was going to be easy, but whatever solution we end up with has to have, if not enthusiastic support, then acquiescence from a real majority or the genuine resentment will continue. It’s a shame and very disappointing that you don’t seem to understand that.