All posts by The Fat Controller

General, Health

Hell Hath No Fury …

… like an off-duty staff nurse trying to get some kip!

One of the side benefits of living on this estate is that we’re only 300 yards from a major hospital. That means that something like a third of the households here have a member who works there – the majority of them on shift. Most residents appreciate this which is why it generally remains a nice quiet place to live.

The new family at the half-way house at the end of the terrace faced the full wrath this afternoon. Karaoke in the garden followed by full-volume (c)rap music is not what we’re used to – and bass that can be heard over the noise of a jet-washer is definitely beyond the pale.

Fifteen minutes into this al-fresco “performance” and we witnessed the glorious sight of Sister Clarinda in full battle-colours – dressing gown and fluffy slippers – emerging from the flats opposite like a heavy cruiser under full throttle to launch a broadside of “just-what-the-fuck-do-you-think-you’re-playing-at” – the secondary armament instantly letting fly with  “I’ve-just-done-a-12-hour-shift”!

Much “terribly-sorrying” and we’ve returned to glorious quiet and can hear the birds again. Saves me belly-aching to the housing association!

Health, Politics

The Trumpanzee

Defined by the Urban Dictionary as:

“an irrational and irritable assclownish beast that is completely immunized {hannitized magatized} to logic-or-reason, any-and-all negative facts-or-evidence concerning Trump, and remains a devout and mindless supporter of the buffoon.”

I think it’s rather an unfair expression – after all, chimps are quite intelligent and have empathy! However, I had the misfortune to try and argue with one of these the other night. It was like arguing with a robotic priest, but less rewarding – hence this the first of a series … Later on I’ll get on to his quite ludicrous claim that Trump isn’t racist, but first I’d like to correct the idea that he might be in any way trustworthy.

The Washington Post has been keeping tally of Don’s porkies. Back in January they recorded that during his first three years as President he had clocked up 16,241 false or misleading claims. And he shows no sign of stopping. This is just a brief summary of yesterday’s White House press conference:-

  • He falsely suggested the pandemic was not predictable when, in fact, the US intelligence community, public health experts and officials in Trump’s own administration had warned for years that the country was at risk from a pandemic, including specific warnings about a coronavirus outbreak.
  • He falsely said the testing in the US is “better” than any other country in the world. In fact, some of the initial coronavirus tests sent out to states were seriously flawed – some did not even work. The CDC had insisted it would manufacture the tests itself, creating further problems.
  • He tried to suggest that Obama’s handling of H1N1 was worse than his handling of Covid-19, when in fact Obama declared an emergency within two weeks of a first confirmed US case. There is currently the hastag 70days on Twitter, that being the time Trump wasted downplaying and denying the virus.
  • He falsely said airline passengers were getting tests upon landing, which is not true.
  • He attacked the inspector general report about testing shortage as politically motivated from an Obama appointee, when in reality, the official behind the report has had a long career with the non-partisan office.
  • He also said the country would open “sooner than people think”, even as health officials are warning of a gradual return from current restrictions.

Six more to add to the total! Most serious commentators are now so used to his systemic and almost casual dishonesty that yet another lie on top of thousands barely warrants a mention. What mystifies me is the rapture with which the Trumpanzee will accept his word almost as gospel.

We live in a time when almost everything Trump says can be easily and quickly fact-checked, but they still “follow the gourd” even to the point of putting their lievs at risk ingesting medicines unsuited to treatment of Covid-19 becuase Trump said it was OK.

Josef Goebbels would have been so jealous.

Health

Coronarse Virus 4

I didn’t write this – I nicked it off Facebook, but I wish to state my unreserved admiration for our health-care professionals and fully to be associated with the final sentiment:

“Did you wake up & cry because you have to stay home another day?
I woke up & cried because I knew what I had to witness today at work.

Are you “bored”?
Come hang out with me for 5 minutes.. I promise you’ll be so scared, you’ll forget you were ever bored.

Do you miss your friends?
Imagine how much more you would miss them if you were isolated and alone in a hospital bed.

Imagine wearing masks so tight to your face that it hurts after hour one but you still have twelve more to work. Your skin is literally breaking under the pressure.

Imagine not being able to have a drink of water because you can’t take your mask off.

Imagine only peeing twice a day on your breaks because there simply isn’t enough time for you to leave the floor.

Imagine sweat dripping down your face inside a mask, whilst simultaneously steaming up your protective Google’s- all whilst trying to frantically help someone to breath.

Imagine being so scared for 13 hours of a shift, then witnessing the sheer terror on your patients face as they struggle to breath, even with a machine forcing oxygen into their bodies.

Imagine having to tell loved ones their family have been put on a breathing machine over the phone. And things are not looking good. Them knowing they can’t come and comfort them in their hour of need.

Imagine reading a message from someone’s spouse begging them to be okay, because they simply cannot live with out them.

Imagine crying your eyes out at work because everything and everyone is so overwhelming.

Imagine crying for the entirety of your journey home, and for many hours after you get home from the sheer weight of what you’ve witnessed.

Stay the FUCK home.”

Health

Coronarse Virus 3

Found this on Facebook – some really sound advice!

“Make no mistake. When loved ones are removed from your home by ambulance because the virus has hit them hard, you are not going to be able to follow them there, sit by their hospital bed and hold their hand. You are not going to be able to pop in at 7.00 pm for visiting hours. They are going to have no one other than exhausted and brave hospital staff to see them through days or weeks of barely breathing through a ventilator until they either die or recover. They are not going to be well enough to text you.

You are not going to be able to phone the ward to check in on them regularly (staff will be too busy for that). During that time, they will be completely alone, while you sit at home waiting to hear whether they have made it through.

Imagine that person is someone you love dearly. Because it’s going to be a reality for many in the coming weeks.

And if that person in hospital happens to be you, going through that ordeal completely alone, it would be nothing less than terrifying.

Never in my life have I wanted so strongly to say that if anyone is not feeling even a little afraid right now, not only for themselves but for their loved ones and others in general, then they are a bloody fool.

Don’t be a fool stay safe !!!!”

Health

CORONARSE VIRUS 2

This time it’s personal!

I had a long chat with my boss’s boss yesterday about all these shenanigans! It helps that he’s a friend and that we’ve known each other for over fifteen years, because it’s not always easy to admit that you’re scared. And I am!

One of the first people to die in the UK was a man in his early 60s with “an underlying medical condition” – or someone like me!

Most of us will remember the pig flu ten years ago. I certainly do, not least throwing up in the bath at two in the morning and then a week during which I could barely get out of bed I felt so rough. It took me several weeks to fully recover. A decade later and I’m by no means certain that I’d do as well if Covid 19 comes a-knockin’. I was diagnosed with emphysema (or COPD to those who can’t spell it!) seven years ago. It’s a long term, degenerative and terminal lung disease which also has the charming side-effect of compromising the immune system. Even on a good day I have limited lung capacity and I’m very prone to chest inflections which can severely limit my mobility. Covid 19 would be extremely dangerous for me.

Which brings me to my point. There are STILL people out there who just don’t appear to get it!

The hand-washing, the self-isolation and the social distancing have to be universal or their effect is limited. I’ve seen numerous examples in the last few days of people who say that they’ll carry on as they were because they’re at low risk and likely to survive it. Well, bully for you! But it isn’t just about you – it’s about sad old buggers like me for whom this could literally be a matter of life and death.

Fortunately I’ve been able to work at home for nearly two years and my employer has taken very positive steps to help us all reduce risk. Alex is taking similar precautions. We’re mostly keeping ourselves to ourselves and having as much delivered to the house as we can. That’s all we can do and hope that coronarse passes us by. (But we’re still gonna spam up the internetz!)

See you in June, dahlinks!