Oh, dear lord, look what the cat dragged in!
“Lord” Jeffrey Archer has said that anyone who opposes the use of public money for the wedding of the decade has a “curmudgeonly world view“.
What a wordsmith he is! Actually, I remember him more as a convicted perjuror and scribbler of airport fiction. I tried one of his books once – worst ten minutes of my life, and I’ve had root canal treatments!
“Who are this grumpy, envious lot saying ‘I don’t want a royal wedding’? ” he asks.
Well, me for one!
Actually, no, I’m not saying that. I’m saying that I don’t care whether they get married, I just don’t expect to be asked to pay for it. Mr & Mrs Slag over the road didn’t come knocking on my door for a handout when Chardonnay married the bricky, so why should I, as a taxpayer, fork out for Bill and Kate’s bash?
If that makes me grumpy, so be it. If that makes me envious, so be it as well. After all, I come from a class that actually has to work for a sodding living and won’t get a title and a bloody great house from Mumsy. (Remember at this point that properties like Sandringham and Balmoral, which the family regard as “theirs”, were purchased with money from the civil list.)
Archer then goes on to rant about how much money the royals bring in from tourism. True, they do bring in the odd tenner, but I would remind him that people still flock to see Versailles or the Peterhof – and that nearly a century after the Tsar and his family went down to the cellar.