The End is Nigh

As a child I remember that on Saturdays and market days an old man used to tramp around the town centre wearing an A-board predicting the end. The end of what we never quite found out. We were always too busy queuing at the vegetable counter in Woolworths. (How bloody old am I ???)

I was going to spend this evening looking up evidence of a similar prediction by another sad and deluded individual – Shirley Phelps-Roper.

For those who don’t know of her she is the daughter and chief cheerleader of Fred Phelps, Pastor of Westboro Baptist Church, sociopath and self appointed moral guardian of the world. It’s also worth mentioning that he’s a disbarred lawyer, a convicted criminal and an alleged wife and child beater.

The Fred and Shirley show involves showing up at the funerals of dead American servicemen and claiming that they perished as a direct result of god’s wrath for tolerating homosexuality. Absolute bloody howash, I know, as the god of Pastor Phelps is not one that the overwhelming majority of practicing Christians would recognise. He’s certainly not one to be worshipped!

Anyway and as it happens, a former member of the cult has saved me a shedload of work. Shirley’s brother Nathan left the church on his 18th birthday. Yesterday the Huffington Post published an article by him. Clicky.

It turns out that on Obama’s inauguration day Shirl adamantly stated that he was the Beast and that he would last 42 months. What’s so significant about that? Well – time’s up tomorrow!

Sorry, Nathan, but I’m not about to sell the house, send you the proceeds and run off to a hilltop to enjoy the rapture. I think we’ll probably have a curry with the in-laws instead. And Monday morning it’ll be back to work – well, not for me, I’m on leave, but you get how seriously I’m taking this dire load of bullshit.

The only downer is that, if Fred is right (and that’s a great big bastard HUGE “if”), and I’m going to hell (as all we gayers are), then alphabetically we’re going to be rather too close to the fornicators. Eternity within shouting distance Shirley really would be hell.