Coronarse Brexit!

This has been floating around the interweb for the last few days.

First thing to say is that it’s a parody account and not the real Ken Clarke, but for all that it was put to me that the point is still valid. Is it really?

Before we go anywhere else, what there is of an argument here presupposes that fruit and veg picking is an unskilled job which anyone could do – an argument which could only have been made by someone who has never had to do it. It requires physical fitness and dexterity and no small amount of skill. Yes, I know that the east end of London used to decamp to Kent every autumn to bring in the hops, but that only serves to illustrate the point.  Hop picking is now done largely by tractor, but it used to require skills not generally available in the workforce – not least the ability to work on stilts – and these were passed down generation to generation by families who usually went to the same farms each year.

The most recent circulation that I’ve seen of this tweet was from a Facebook group describing itself as “A page for those from (county deleted to maintain family peace) to promote the EU, and a reversal (or at the very least toning down) of the destructive ‘Brexit’ project.” I have no doubt, judging from the comments left underneath it, that they thought it was spiffingly good fodder, but I do doubt that they stopped to consider how much it contradicts a major part of their own cause.

The fruit-pickers in question are coming from Romania, which is an EU state and, as such, there is currently no power in law to stop them from entering – it’s EU law enshrined in UK law, go look it up. If, as was put to me, we could find 70,000 people within our current unemployed to go out in the fields, why do we still need freedom of movement?

Hell Hath No Fury …

… like an off-duty staff nurse trying to get some kip!

One of the side benefits of living on this estate is that we’re only 300 yards from a major hospital. That means that something like a third of the households here have a member who works there – the majority of them on shift. Most residents appreciate this which is why it generally remains a nice quiet place to live.

The new family at the half-way house at the end of the terrace faced the full wrath this afternoon. Karaoke in the garden followed by full-volume (c)rap music is not what we’re used to – and bass that can be heard over the noise of a jet-washer is definitely beyond the pale.

Fifteen minutes into this al-fresco “performance” and we witnessed the glorious sight of Sister Clarinda in full battle-colours – dressing gown and fluffy slippers – emerging from the flats opposite like a heavy cruiser under full throttle to launch a broadside of “just-what-the-fuck-do-you-think-you’re-playing-at” – the secondary armament instantly letting fly with  “I’ve-just-done-a-12-hour-shift”!

Much “terribly-sorrying” and we’ve returned to glorious quiet and can hear the birds again. Saves me belly-aching to the housing association!

The Trumpanzee

Defined by the Urban Dictionary as:

“an irrational and irritable assclownish beast that is completely immunized {hannitized magatized} to logic-or-reason, any-and-all negative facts-or-evidence concerning Trump, and remains a devout and mindless supporter of the buffoon.”

I think it’s rather an unfair expression – after all, chimps are quite intelligent and have empathy! However, I had the misfortune to try and argue with one of these the other night. It was like arguing with a robotic priest, but less rewarding – hence this the first of a series … Later on I’ll get on to his quite ludicrous claim that Trump isn’t racist, but first I’d like to correct the idea that he might be in any way trustworthy.

The Washington Post has been keeping tally of Don’s porkies. Back in January they recorded that during his first three years as President he had clocked up 16,241 false or misleading claims. And he shows no sign of stopping. This is just a brief summary of yesterday’s White House press conference:-

  • He falsely suggested the pandemic was not predictable when, in fact, the US intelligence community, public health experts and officials in Trump’s own administration had warned for years that the country was at risk from a pandemic, including specific warnings about a coronavirus outbreak.
  • He falsely said the testing in the US is “better” than any other country in the world. In fact, some of the initial coronavirus tests sent out to states were seriously flawed – some did not even work. The CDC had insisted it would manufacture the tests itself, creating further problems.
  • He tried to suggest that Obama’s handling of H1N1 was worse than his handling of Covid-19, when in fact Obama declared an emergency within two weeks of a first confirmed US case. There is currently the hastag 70days on Twitter, that being the time Trump wasted downplaying and denying the virus.
  • He falsely said airline passengers were getting tests upon landing, which is not true.
  • He attacked the inspector general report about testing shortage as politically motivated from an Obama appointee, when in reality, the official behind the report has had a long career with the non-partisan office.
  • He also said the country would open “sooner than people think”, even as health officials are warning of a gradual return from current restrictions.

Six more to add to the total! Most serious commentators are now so used to his systemic and almost casual dishonesty that yet another lie on top of thousands barely warrants a mention. What mystifies me is the rapture with which the Trumpanzee will accept his word almost as gospel.

We live in a time when almost everything Trump says can be easily and quickly fact-checked, but they still “follow the gourd” even to the point of putting their lievs at risk ingesting medicines unsuited to treatment of Covid-19 becuase Trump said it was OK.

Josef Goebbels would have been so jealous.

Coronarse Virus 4

I didn’t write this – I nicked it off Facebook, but I wish to state my unreserved admiration for our health-care professionals and fully to be associated with the final sentiment:

“Did you wake up & cry because you have to stay home another day?
I woke up & cried because I knew what I had to witness today at work.

Are you “bored”?
Come hang out with me for 5 minutes.. I promise you’ll be so scared, you’ll forget you were ever bored.

Do you miss your friends?
Imagine how much more you would miss them if you were isolated and alone in a hospital bed.

Imagine wearing masks so tight to your face that it hurts after hour one but you still have twelve more to work. Your skin is literally breaking under the pressure.

Imagine not being able to have a drink of water because you can’t take your mask off.

Imagine only peeing twice a day on your breaks because there simply isn’t enough time for you to leave the floor.

Imagine sweat dripping down your face inside a mask, whilst simultaneously steaming up your protective Google’s- all whilst trying to frantically help someone to breath.

Imagine being so scared for 13 hours of a shift, then witnessing the sheer terror on your patients face as they struggle to breath, even with a machine forcing oxygen into their bodies.

Imagine having to tell loved ones their family have been put on a breathing machine over the phone. And things are not looking good. Them knowing they can’t come and comfort them in their hour of need.

Imagine reading a message from someone’s spouse begging them to be okay, because they simply cannot live with out them.

Imagine crying your eyes out at work because everything and everyone is so overwhelming.

Imagine crying for the entirety of your journey home, and for many hours after you get home from the sheer weight of what you’ve witnessed.

Stay the FUCK home.”

Coronarse Virus 3

Found this on Facebook – some really sound advice!

“Make no mistake. When loved ones are removed from your home by ambulance because the virus has hit them hard, you are not going to be able to follow them there, sit by their hospital bed and hold their hand. You are not going to be able to pop in at 7.00 pm for visiting hours. They are going to have no one other than exhausted and brave hospital staff to see them through days or weeks of barely breathing through a ventilator until they either die or recover. They are not going to be well enough to text you.

You are not going to be able to phone the ward to check in on them regularly (staff will be too busy for that). During that time, they will be completely alone, while you sit at home waiting to hear whether they have made it through.

Imagine that person is someone you love dearly. Because it’s going to be a reality for many in the coming weeks.

And if that person in hospital happens to be you, going through that ordeal completely alone, it would be nothing less than terrifying.

Never in my life have I wanted so strongly to say that if anyone is not feeling even a little afraid right now, not only for themselves but for their loved ones and others in general, then they are a bloody fool.

Don’t be a fool stay safe !!!!”

CORONARSE VIRUS 2

This time it’s personal!

I had a long chat with my boss’s boss yesterday about all these shenanigans! It helps that he’s a friend and that we’ve known each other for over fifteen years, because it’s not always easy to admit that you’re scared. And I am!

One of the first people to die in the UK was a man in his early 60s with “an underlying medical condition” – or someone like me!

Most of us will remember the pig flu ten years ago. I certainly do, not least throwing up in the bath at two in the morning and then a week during which I could barely get out of bed I felt so rough. It took me several weeks to fully recover. A decade later and I’m by no means certain that I’d do as well if Covid 19 comes a-knockin’. I was diagnosed with emphysema (or COPD to those who can’t spell it!) seven years ago. It’s a long term, degenerative and terminal lung disease which also has the charming side-effect of compromising the immune system. Even on a good day I have limited lung capacity and I’m very prone to chest inflections which can severely limit my mobility. Covid 19 would be extremely dangerous for me.

Which brings me to my point. There are STILL people out there who just don’t appear to get it!

The hand-washing, the self-isolation and the social distancing have to be universal or their effect is limited. I’ve seen numerous examples in the last few days of people who say that they’ll carry on as they were because they’re at low risk and likely to survive it. Well, bully for you! But it isn’t just about you – it’s about sad old buggers like me for whom this could literally be a matter of life and death.

Fortunately I’ve been able to work at home for nearly two years and my employer has taken very positive steps to help us all reduce risk. Alex is taking similar precautions. We’re mostly keeping ourselves to ourselves and having as much delivered to the house as we can. That’s all we can do and hope that coronarse passes us by. (But we’re still gonna spam up the internetz!)

See you in June, dahlinks!

Coronarse Virus 1

I haven’t blogged for five months – to be honest I can’t be all that arsed about things these days. But I’ve got some time on my hands over the next three months and I need to get one or two things off my chest.

Firstly, to any of you that are belly-aching about the UK government’s response to this bloody virus, STFU and take a long, cold, hard look across the pond. Bojo might not be your cup of tea, but he’s making a far, far better fist of this than that ignorant, dangerous tangerine tosspot in Washington.  There! That’s that said!

It is a fact that a national crisis will bring out the best in some people. Unfortunately it also brings out the worst in others. There is a line in the 1951 (and best!) version of A Christmas Carol in which the late Jack Warner as Mr Jorkin rebukes his colleague with the observation “We’re all cutthroats under this fancy linen, Mr. Snedrig.” The last two weeks have proven just how true that is. For all our technological and scientific advancement humans can still be feral.

The current spate of “panic buying” is misnamed – it’s not panic, it’s carefully calculated selfishness. It is also woefully and deliberately ignorant and all these sheeple have managed to do is to fill up the garage or spare bedroom. And why toilet paper, FFS? The virus makes you cough up a lung not shit yourself. From day one there never has been a shortage of arse-paper – one factory in Manchester churns out nearly 5 million rolls of the stuff every day on its own – about enough to wipe every arse in Greater London or clear up after one Katie Hopkins press conference. And that’s just one manufacturer – the Andrex puppy has three such factories  and that’s not even starting to count the stuff we import.

No! All these clowns have achieved is to fuck up the supply chain to a monumental degree. Just be sensible about things and take what you need and there won’t be a problem. Of course the looters don’t see it as a problem. They’ve got what they want and every other bugger can go screw themselves. The lack of common sense, decency or morality would be shocking but for the fact that it’s just one more example among many of human stupidity. I’ve been watching and despairing …

… and then I found this:

Two teenagers in South Yorkshire have been handing out care packages to vulnerable people.

Matty Merry and Sam Hornsby, who are both 17, have been giving out bags containing items such as porridge, toilet roll and teabags to people in the village of Harlington who are self-isolating due to the coronavirus outbreak.

Sam said: “I really advise people to do it if you’re actually able to and if you’re willing to do it because I think at this moment in time, we really do need to pull together as a community.”  Clicky.

… maybe humans have a future after all.

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