One is pleased that, today, one becomes the longest serving queen on this website. I am aware that my long years of being driven around in posh cars from one palace to another has been an honour and a privilege for you. I put my extreme longevity down to never having had to do a hard days work and lots of nice dinners.

To celebrate this auspicious occasion I have formally opened the new coffee tuk-tuk at Salfords Station, the Third South Park Sea Scouts sailed their inflatable all the way across Earlswood Lower Lake and the Parish Council held a special session to do loads of sycophantic bum-kissing.

May Gord Bliss You Awl.